I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
