Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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