we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
