i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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