I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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