i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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