Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
