Michael Bay diarrhea
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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