Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
