What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Randomize
