I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
