Kiss
Puke
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
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