doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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