I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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