i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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