Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
