Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
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