He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
