we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Randomize
