Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
