You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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