glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
