butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
