How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
