we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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