Sry I called you an 8
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
