Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
In America we eat man semen.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
