going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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