Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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