Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
try to milk me bitch
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
