btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
