I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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