i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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