So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
