I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
