i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
