Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
