the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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