Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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