Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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