Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
