I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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