I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
