it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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