next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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