this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
