Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
