i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
