were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
