My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
no you cant smoke seaweed
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
